It’s horrible watching a friend grieve. We all want to be helpful and make people feel better, but we can’t make grief go away.
Grieving is a process that takes time. While you can’t magic away their grief or bring that person back to life, supporting them through the process is important. When someone is grieving, they need to know that they have people around them – like you. So, how can you support a grieving friend?
Referrals
When a person is grieving, they might want to speak to someone they don’t know about their feelings, like a counselor or even a medium or psychic (like those on this medium chat site). Let’s face it; we all know people. Use your connections to suggest the right person for them to talk to. Do you have a great therapist? Or does your friend always brag about theirs? Sometimes, knowing where to start is the biggest hurdle so be helpful and make some suggestions.
Listen
What if your friend doesn’t want to speak to a professional? They still need someone to talk to. Be that person and support them by listening. Sometimes you don’t need to make suggestions or contribute to the conversation. Simply being present and letting your friend know that you are always available to listen will help. They might not want to talk about their grief right now, but they will want the option when the time comes. Even if that’s at 4am.
Distractions
We know that grieving is a process. A person can take a long time to grieve. And it isn’t linear; some days might hurt more than others. A supportive friend will understand this and will help their grieving friend to get on with normal life. This might mean providing some distractions and planning activities like a road trip or day out. Sometimes, a trip to a new environment can do wonders. Your friend might associate their grief with their town or house, and a change of scene can help.
Provisions
In many cultures, people provide food for those who are grieving. It means that they don’t have to do the household activities that feel stressful. It’s always helpful to provide for a friend who’s grieving. They might find that they don’t want to eat. So, offer to do a food shop, bring some food round or help them with household chores. But – and this is important – don’t assume. Having an abundance of leftovers can be stressful too, so make sure that your friend wants another enormous lasagna before you send it over.
Three years later
We know that grieving takes time. One of the main problems people face when grieving is a mass of support at first and then people tend to gradually fade away. But your friend might still be grieving three years later. So, support your friend when others have disappeared. Let them know that you are there for them always and that you haven’t forgotten their grief.
Speak Your Mind