Anxiety is often a natural part of life, though it impacts some people much more than others. Anxiety can come in all forms and from all places, and while motherhood often clears away a lot of anxieties, becoming a mom often increases anxieties or brings on new ones. This is totally normal — you’re caring for a living being who you love more than anyone in the world. How could you not want to protect and raise them best?
But stressing over your fears isn’t good for you or your kiddos. Anxiety can sometimes be a learned experience passed from parent to child, so it’s important to have a plan in place not just for you, but for them too. While you won’t cure anxiety instantly or make it go away forever, there are a few things you can do to calm yourself and center back.
1. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is defined as remaining present in the moment of what’s happening around you. There are mindfulness exercises and meditations people often use to dive deeper into this practice, and you can employ those if they seem like they may add to your life in a positive way. However, mindfulness can often ease anxiety by practicing it from moment to moment every single day.
Try to notice the sensations, feelings and settings of each current moment in your daily life. So much anxiety comes from dwelling in the past or fretting over the future. While it’s important to learn from past mistakes and plan for what’s ahead, remaining present can help you stay calm, relaxed and level headed.
2. Eliminate Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Parenthood can sometimes make you feel like you don’t have the time or effort to spare to address your anxieties thoroughly and properly, and this can lead to unhealthy coping skills. Whether you struggle with unhealthy food habits, substance abuse, negative self talk or any number of unhealthy strategies for curbing anxiety, it’s important to recognize that they’re unsustainable and realize that you’re worth the effort to make real changes.
If you’re struggling, you can reach out and find professional help by way of therapy, support groups and other forms of treatment. It’s important to show yourself compassion and devote time to your genuine healing.
3. Broaden Your Support Network
Relying on friends, family and loved ones can do a world of good when you’re looking to grow in any way. Whether you need encouragement to overcome specific fears and anxieties, someone to spend time with while you work through things or simply someone to listen and understand, building an intentional network of people who love and value you can encourage you to find some relaxation.
It’s important not to use your support system to avoid tasks that make you feel anxious so you never have to confront them. For example, if waiting in the car pickup from school makes you anxious, asking someone else to do it every day doesn’t help you. But you can talk to your friends about how it makes you feel so next time you go you can feel a bit more at ease.
Feeling supported and secure can help to alleviate some of the anxious feelings that often come up in mom life. Even if you start a babysitting group or childcare rotation to give you some time to work on yourself and engage in self care practices that help you feel some ease, support systems can make all the difference. Know you’re never alone and that you’re worth time, effort and companionship.
4. Accept that Nothing Is Perfect
One of the most freeing mindsets you can have as a parent is understanding that although it’s important to try your best and show up in your kids’ lives, nothing will ever be perfect. And that’s totally okay! So much mom anxiety can come from the pressure to make everything perfect and flawless for your family, but there’s no such thing as perfect. And that doesn’t mean you’re not trying hard enough or that you love your kids any less.
Teaching your children about the beauty in imperfections, the value in learning from mistakes and the importance of self acceptance can instill great values in them that they’ll carry with them into the future. It can banish a bit of your stress so you can focus more on the good, not the constant necessity to improve.
5. Find Natural Stress Relief Methods
Finding stress and anxiety relieving practices to incorporate into your life can help exponentially. When you’re calmer in your life, you’ll be calmer as a mom. While yoga, eating healthy, meditation, breath work and creative expression may not seem related to your overall mental health, finding what works for you and genuinely devoting time and effort to it can give you the relaxation you need to approach situations differently and be more level headed in your life as a mom.
Find Your Calm
Anxiety is a struggle that can’t be cured in one yoga class or an hour of therapy. It’s a constant hurdle that comes with life, and it impacts everyone differently. While parenthood can bring a new set of worries into the mix, you don’t have to stay stuck forever. Learning to recognize and work with your anxieties can bring healing. Focusing on healthy, productive coping mechanisms and taking some of the pressure off is key. Motherhood is a learning experience, and growing with your child is a beautiful thing.
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