Deciding to have a child is a serious decision. There are many factors to consider when deciding whether or not to have children. For some people, the decision is easy. They know they want to be parents and start a family right away. For others, it’s not so clear-cut.
There is a strong amount of hesitancy when it comes to having a child nowadays. When looking at current birth rates, it’s evident that people are having fewer children and waiting until later in life to have them. This makes sense though, having a child is not something you necessarily want to rush into.
There are several situations where you may want to wait to have children or at least consider waiting. We’ll go over five of them in this article.
You’re not in a stable relationship
If you’re not in a stable, long-term relationship, it may be best to wait to have children. Raising a child is a big responsibility, and both parents must be committed to each other and the child.
It doesn’t do you or the child any favors if you and your partner separate. When parents separate, it can be disruptive and stressful for the child’s development. When growing up, children may find themselves divided between siding with one parent over the other in conflicts, where to spend holidays, and where to live.
Having a child with your partner is ideal when you know they will be there for the long haul. You don’t necessarily have to be married to each other, but it doesn’t hurt.
You’re not financially stable
Having children is expensive. It’s estimated the average cost of raising a child to the age of 18 was close to $270,000. That amount doesn’t even factor in additional costs like sending your child to college or extra-curricular activities like sports.
It’s not too surprising raising a child is expensive. You’ll need to provide for their basic needs like food, clothing, and shelter from the moment they’re born. These expenses tend only to rise as your child gets older.
You’ll want to ensure you have your finances in order before going ahead and having a child. You should aim to ensure you have an emergency fund saved up, little to no outstanding debt, and are on track to meeting your other financial goals (retirement, home ownership, etc.).
You’re not ready mentally or emotionally
Having children is a huge mental and emotional responsibility. You’ll be responsible for another human being and their wellbeing. It’s important to make sure you’re in the right mindset before having children.
While there’s not exactly a test to say that you are mentally or emotionally responsible, there are some cues you can look for in your own life. Your mental health is a good indicator. For instance, if you’re battling depression or drug addiction, it might be harder for you to take care of and raise a baby.
If you’re dealing with a lot of personal issues, it may be best to wait until you’re in a better place mentally and emotionally. You wouldn’t want to take on the responsibility of a child when you’re not in the right frame of mind.
You want to focus on your career
For some people, their career is a huge part of their life. They may have spent years working towards a specific goal, and they’re not ready to give that up.
Having children will definitely require you to make some lifestyle changes and may put your career on the back-burner for a bit. You’ll need to take time off from work when the baby is born, and you may need to adjust your work schedule.
If you’re not ready to make these changes, it might be best to wait until you’re in a better place professionally. As to what that looks like is up to you. You could wait until you’re in a stable career or if you’re in a high position. It’s whatever you feel comfortable with.
You’re not sure if you want children
Finally, if you’re unsure if you want children, it’s best to wait or not have them. Having children is a big decision, and once the child is born, it’s not something that can be undone.
Having a child but regretting the decision later will result in a lot of heartache for both you and the child. The last thing you want to do is resent your child for simply being born.
It’s essential to be 100% sure before taking the plunge. While you might feel your biological clock is running out, you shouldn’t have a baby just for the sake of it. Take your time and make sure it’s something you really want.
Having children is a big decision that can’t be taken lightly. You must do a fair amount of self-reflection and see if you are truly ready to raise another human being.
If you feel ready, then go for it. Having a baby and raising them to become an outstanding adult is a wonderful experience. It has its challenges, but it’s rewarding.
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