Divorce is an overwhelming, stressful, and just plain tough time for everyone involved. Divorce is a complicated situation, and the emotions involved can be a lot for you as a parent as well as your children. If you are going through a divorce, not only is it highly recommended that you hire a good family lawyer to look after your best interests but an attorney that will also keep the interest of your children in mind. This is a difficult process, but you can get through it.
Here are a few tips to help the process a little easier for mothers going through a divorce.
Create a Household Schedule
One of the most important things you can do to ease the process is to avoid making hasty changes to you and your children’s schedules. Keep your daily routines simple and continue to do as many regular activities as possible. Avoid thinking about the past; instead, focus on the present and near future. When creating a household schedule that revolves around you and the children, try to continue doing what you would normally do.
Keep up with weekly chores, such as gardening, weeding, vacuuming, cleaning the pool, and sealing your driveway. For instance, parking lots and driveways should be seal coated about every two to three years for normal use, so if you or your spouse had scheduled driveway maintenance or any other household maintenance, don’t stray away from your routine and schedule.
Self-Education Is a Priority
It is extremely important that you educate yourself on ways to improve your independence. For instance, if your spouse handled things such as the bank account, life insurance policies, or the mortgage, you’ll need to familiarize yourself with these things. Not only will you be handling these things after your divorce is finalized, but this information will be handy during the divorce filing process as well.
Prioritize Your Children
Putting the needs of your children first must be everyone’s priority during this difficult time. This includes keeping up with all medical and dental appointments. Did you know that about 91% of Americans aged 20 to 64 have at least one cavity? So, the last thing you want to happen is for your children to have a dental or medical issue that they avoid telling you about out of concern for adding to the disruption in your lives. Make it a point to ask your children daily if there is anything they want to talk about and if they physically feeling okay. Most importantly, you should not be tempted to involve the kids in the divorce process, especially when it comes to custody, and don’t use the kids to gain an advantage over your spouse.
Review Your Finances
Although you will have to adjust to life on one income, it is important to not let your finances overwhelm you. Keep in mind that money isn’t what makes happiness and it doesn’t make experiences memorable; it’s spending quality time together with your children that make experiences memorable. Your children will value your time together more than they will value toys that they will outgrow. That being said, you will need to make some financial adjustments, so it’s essential that you review your finances, learn to budget with what you have, and don’t hesitate to discuss alimony and child support with your attorney.
Seek Help – You’re Not Alone!
You are not alone in this process; unfortunately, about 50% of all marriages in the United States end in separation or divorce. For this reason, there are many resources available for mothers going through a divorce, including support groups. It’s often helpful to connect with other moms going through or that are already divorced. Support groups are an excellent resource for helping to keep you up to date on a wide range of things, such as new job positions opening up or reliable daycare. It’s essential that you stop thinking you are alone and that you have to do everything by yourself. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to accept help when it’s offered.
Throughout the divorce process, the most important tip to keep in mind is that optimism is critical. Avoid thinking about the past, what was and will be, and instead concentrate on the present. Remember to take care of your health, both physically and emotionally, talk to someone when needed, and believe in yourself.