“I participated in an Ambassador Program on behalf of Mom Central Consulting for Anheuser-Busch’s Family Talk About Drinking program. I received a promotional item to thank me for my participation.”
When you become a parent you just never know what challenges you are in for. That day you become a parent is the day you also become a teacher. Our job as parents are to teach our children what is right, what is wrong and steer them in the right path to make good decisions and choices in life.
When your children become teenagers the challenges in parenting tend to get a little harder. Our children start wanting to go to parties, hang out with kids we might be unsure of and might be put in situations that they must be prepared for. We as parents are the biggest influences in our teens’ decisions to drink alcohol. We need to ask open-ended questions that get our teens thinking about what they would do if they are offered a drink. Even though our teensthink they might know it all, it is our job to BE REAL when it comes to talking to our kids.
Be R-E-A-L:
Realize our children need to have a connection with us.
Examine our own assumptions and prejudices.
Always be aware of the other influences in our kids’ lives.
Listen, because all kids (especially teens!) have a deep need to be heard
I have been pretty lucky and have a really good relationship with my teens. While some parents might have to pull a sneak attack on their teens and ask questions in the car on the way home from school, I feel I can ask my kids anything at anytime and they won’t be afraid to answer. When you want to connect with your teens you have to listen to them and what they have to say. Best of all, respect their opinions!
MJ Corcoran has worked with parents for the past 20 years and has created a powerful parenting program that will help you make the changes to create more cooperation, connection, mutual respect and fun in your family. In 2011, MJ collaborated with Anheuser-Busch to refresh and expand the Family Talk About Drinking guide to become a program that parents can turn to throughout the parenting process, no matter how old their kids may be.
Below is Q&A session with MJ Corcoran that I want to share:
Q: Do you find that more active teens are less likely to drink than teens that are not involved in extra-curricular activities or the opposite?
Overall, that would be the logical assumption. In my experience being active in a sport or an activity keeps children engaged. Although, parents are the number one influence on their children’s decisions about drinking alcohol, youth engagement plays an important role as well because active teens have to practice responsibility, balance and discipline more than teens not involved.
Q: How should you address questions regarding what you did in your youth?
Being honest and open with your children may enable them to return that transparency and trust. How much to share with your children about your youth is a personal decision that parents should determine with their spouses. The important thing is to begin the dialog, listen to your children’s concerns and coach them in making smart decisions about avoiding alcohol.
Q: How do you get kids to even listen or pay attention to you on these topics?
It starts with listening to them first. Then look for those windows of opportunity to bring up the topic. In between those opportunities build your relationship with your child. Just because you don’t think they are listening, doesn’t mean your kids don’t hear you. Continue reaching out to them, asking open-ended questions and providing guidance on ways they can avoid alcohol. Research shows that parents are the No. 1 influence in their children’s decisions about drinking alcohol.
The Family Talk About Drinking Parent Guide provides some questions to help you get the conversation started like “If there is drinking at a party, what will you do?” or “If your friends wanted to drink, how would you handle it?”
Q: Do you think a parent drinking at home has any influence on whether their children will drink?
Alcohol is for adults 21 and older who choose to drink. As a parent, we serve as an example for our children. If you choose to drink, as an adult, do so responsibly. Be sure your actions match what you’re telling them, for instance use a designated driver.
Q: How much should you share about your personal history & experience (hint, I really don’t want to share much).
This is a personal decision and the focus is on their decisions and choices. Being honest and open with your children may enable them to return that transparency and trust. How much to share with your children about your youth is a personal decision that parents should determine with their spouses. The important thing is to begin the dialog, listen to your children’s concerns and coach them in making smart decisions about avoiding alcohol.
Q: We’re doing college orientation soon with our daughter, what should we be asking the staff & resident dorm advisors about drinking?
College orientation is a perfect time to become familiar with the University’s policies for underage drinking. Ask the staff and resident advisors what consequences the student will face if they are drinking underage. What process does the university take and who all is involved? (faculty, parents, etc.)
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